Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Regarding that Windsurfing Magazine Stuff

Dearest Blog Readers (aka: the other bloggers and my mom),

Thanks for your courageous support during this trying time in the world of windsurfing. The printing press at a nationally syndicated magazine known as Windsurfing Magazine made a terrible error and mistakenly published a piece that I wrote. Kiteboarders everywhere rejoiced this aquatic apocalyptic event that would surely end our sport forever, opening up endless oceans and lakes of dangle-room across the world. The lawyers of the international shark coalition are looking for loopholes in order to assure my eventual consumption by chumming for what I've done to the supply of their food source. The American Red Cross has deployed Disaster Mental Health (DMH) Counselors across the country in local windsurfing stores, who are on hand with anti-depressants.


Yes, I'm the guy who wrote the "Confessions of the Human Catapult" article in WSing. It's been a year in the making, and editor Josh Sampiero had to threaten my family in order to get me to finally get something done on it. In addition, I have to give him a lot of credit for making it somewhat readable and qualifying as the "English Language". Thanks to everyone who enjoyed it to some extent. For me, reading it is like coming home to cat vomit on the floor and deciding to pick through it with a needle to look for a newspaper clipping you had set aside earlier. I guess that's what they say about reading your own writing. Actually, "they" probably don't use the cat vomit analogy because "they" probably have manners.

In any case, the positive reactions from my efforts make me feel encouraged to focus a bit more on the writing on my blog and the other outlets. Stay tuned for some slightly less sucky prose.

Yours in Robby,

Aaron, the catapult

ps. James Douglass, a far better windsurfer and writer also had a sweet article about jibing published in the same issue.

pps. The issue in the picture above is not the issue I'm in, but I used that picture instead because it had a cute girl in it.

ppps. Dude, nobody cares, shut up.

pppps. Hey, this is my post-script dammit! Who's typing on my blog?!

ppppps. This is your conscience.

pppppps. Oh, you again, yeah a lot of good you've done me so far.

ppppppps. Shut up and book your ticket to Maui.

pppppppps. FINALLY something we can agree upon!


MikeyZ said...

Dude, I my jaw broke when it hit the floor after looking at that cover.

Congrats on the article!!

What's this about you not being able to write?!? "reading it is like coming home to cat vomit on the floor and deciding to pick through it with a needle to look for a newspaper clipping you had set aside earlier." That's beautiful!!

Ian Berger said...


That was a great article. I loved the self-mockery. Being windsurfer/geek with a heavy dose of geek, I've never been the most coordinated dude on a board either. You made my own foibles seem pretty funny too. You write well, also. Your piece was the best thing in that issue.

-Ian Berger


Catapulting Aaron said...

thanks for the props guys...

Ian -- my favorite article was the one about the French dudes sailing Santa Cruz. Maybe that's just because it had the feel-good ending that any American would like to read.

Let me get you set up on my blogroll...

How's coach doing these days on the hudson?